Emo Wednesday :(

I don’t know how to get this out
It’s all locked away inside
The tears on my pillow the only proof
Of the pain and how much I’ve cried

I thought I’d finally found the one
The one who loved me for me
Only to be left alone again
Rejected and feeling deceived

If I could take it back I would
The pain too much to bare
Destroyed my walls and taught me to feel
And now you don’t even care

How am I supposed to go on
Just smile and always pretend
You’ll always have a piece of my heart
I’ll never accept this is the end

Utada - This Is The One

Japanese-American pop music at its best.

MUST buy or download or whatever it is that you do.

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Best tracks:

Come Back To Me

Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence - FYI

This One (Crying Like a Child)

Taking My Money Back - see previous post!

Taking My Money Back

What I gave, you took
Nothin’ came in return
But I kept on givin’, baby

Because the sex was so good
And your talk was so smooth
That I guess I bought it, baby

Now I finally see
You were using me
And I’m takin’ my money back

You’re down on your knees
Beggin’ me not to leave
But I'm takin’ my money back

_______________________________

OK that right there is the most meaningful song lyric in my life right now. God bless you, Utada. It's like you took that straight from my brain. Every.last.word is true.

PLEASE GO AWAY

You are a fucking has-been wannabe whore.

Spoiled, bratty, coke addict.

Just go away. PLEASE.

Nobody cares about you anymore.

Two weeks is long enough

I guess I haven't been inspired enough to update this thing, but in all honesty I'm fine. Sometimes I look back at my depressive poetic posts and sort of smile, the journey of emotions one person can go though is unlike anything else on this planet. It's something I'm slowly learning to accept.

One of my friends said something the other day to me that I laughed at...she said "self-esteem is overrated" This came after she told me I was attractive and I was stunned as to why she would think so. Granted I'm not ugly by any means but I'm not conceited enough to think I'm OMG SO SEXY. But it made me feel good.

oh GOD

All I want is to make you happy
All you want is to see me cry
Tell me you love me but hurt me so much
Sometimes I just want to die

Fuck and run right back to her
That’s all you get out of me
I feel so violated and stupid inside
Why do you do that to me?

I give you everything inside of my heart
You tell me that you feel the same
A day or two of pure bliss between us
Then you run away and I feel ashamed

I can’t compete with what you have
She owns your heart, I can tell
I don’t know why I can’t be good enough
I love you, and you put me through hell

This distance between us makes it less real for you
Although we’re just one flight away
I can’t see myself ever being with you
Deep down I know you’re afraid

I don’t understand how you can be so cold
Say the things that you do and then leave
It makes it so hard to trust anything about you.
Your words I never fully believe

One day I hope you’ll be able to see
That I’m willing to give you my life
But you’ll never care, you have to keep up appearances
That one day she’ll be your wife

Scared little boy, just make a choice
I can’t keep on living like this
You can’t have both and expect me to be happy

I don’t deserve to be treated like this

I WANT MYYY SON BAAAACK!!

I know you do, honey. And you kicked ass in that movie.

I would recommend it to anybody.